mindrides

The kindest words ever spoken are thank you. I have much to be thankful for. The most important one is that God has granted me my life. I have had so many near misses at death. Thankfully he kept me around. May I use my time wisely with all that he has given me. I’m thankful to him for…

• The life he has given me
• My husband
• Supportive family
• Endearing friends
• Church family
• Our home
• My dog
• Cars
• ……………………………………..my list never ends

Though we are away from family this year. They are all in our hearts. I’m thankful that there are people that are willing to entertain orphans. I think Thanksgiving is all about community. It’s about counting our blessings and being with other who are just as grateful. It’s going to be a good day! Happy Holidays!

I cope because I hope, not mope by a rope. I love Dr. Seuss. My tongue gets twisted into knots. My favorite book is Green Eggs and Ham. The best book to give to anyone making a life change is Oh, The Places You’ll Go. It’s an inspiring book about the potential for success we all have.

Hope is there for each of us. I lost it once and almost myself forever. I’ve learned since that dark age that I can hope in the Lord. It is a solid decision, not like I hope I’ll get a green light. Then you’re stuck at a red light forever. It happens.

Coping is hard for me sometimes. My moods change with the wind. I remember growing up and witnessing this same thing with my mom. One minute she was happy, the next she would rip your head off. We all walked on egg shells around her. They say that depression and bipolar is hereditary. It does run through my family.

Bipolar I am, but I can’t and won’t let it define me. Either I stay in the box and wallow in my mental illness or I trust in the Lord with all my heart and find my hope in him. I can’t make it through this life on my own. I don’t want to. I cry out loud with my hurt , concerns, questions, all my junk. I have someone who’ll hear me. Therefore my hope rest in his hands.

I’m mad at myself. I could change if I wanted to, but I don’t. Why? I guess I’m comfortable being miserable. My mom always says that when you’re sick and tired enough of a situation, you’ll do something about it. She’s right! Moms usually are.

I’m especially tired of my job. My boss doesn’t know about the bipolar. He is the one person I think that should never find out about it. He suspects that somethings wrong with me. I tend to get emotionally charged when I’m around him. Our personality are on opposite ends. He talks, I cry. He doesn’t understand what I’m going through on the job. I hang by a thread sometimes. If I could quit with no regrets I would. He makes this job miserable, dealing with him.

I need a change, NOW!

When did you last see your father? I don’t remember when. My folks were divorced when I was around ten. I didn’t see him much in the years to come. The last chance I would have seen him was at my sister’s wedding. My husband & I couldn’t make the trip because of our finances. That time would stay on my mind awhile. I will keep memories of him tucked in my heart…bologna, horseradish & butter sandwiches, feeding camels coming through the window, argh. Why is it that these are the memories I’m left with? I’m trying to not think of the bad ones, but remember the good. There just weren’t as many things to pick from I guess. The rest is repressed.

If you put down the toliet seat I’ll love you forever. Love should not be conditional, if onlys. It should come from the heart. God taught us what it’s all about when he let his son suffer and die.  I don’t have children of my own yet, so I can only fathom the love that one has for their child. To see anyone suffer is horrible, more so being your flesh and blood.

One of my best ideas ever for people that I love has been If I could I would lists. I started to make them when I had no money for gifts, so I gave my heart on paper. The way it works is you create a list of things you would do for that person if it were possible. A lot of them wouldn’t be achieved, but the sentiment was behind them. As for my mom I put down I would take back all the pain I’ve caused her. The range of ideas came from funny to serious issues. I’ve made just about everyone cry over their lists including my stepdad and he never does.

I’ve never recorded these lists for myself. They were intended for the receipients to soak in. I’m glad that God gave me the idea. So if you’re at a loss for a gift for someone, go ahead and make them an if I could I would list. This idea works well for people you are close to who you know better. Give it a shot and they’ll love it, guaranteed!